The Granola Bar Crisis

Recently lots of obscure crimes have been happening around the US. The JonBernet case (which, might I add, seems to get alot more screen time than the war or any other important issue) and the boy that got locked in his closet by a foster parent have been all over the news. But little do you know that a terrible crime has been commited by a man I thought I could trust: the Quaker Oats Man.

Cosco, a beautiful store that could only happen in America, selling boxes of gummies larger than Mrs. Johnson and buckets of just about anything you could think of at rock bottom prices, was selling big ol boxes of granola bars. My mom decided to buy them, since I can easliy go through a normal box in one sitting. I was happily chowing down on them today, pulling granola bars out at random. The box contained 60 bars, some Chocolate Chips and some Peanut Butter and Chocolate. I noticed many more Chocolate Chips comming out than Peanut butter. And then I noticed it:

The box conained 36 Chocolate chips..... and only 24 Peanut butter!!

The Quaker Oats man used to be someone I could trust, but no longer. He's laughing all the way to the bank now, selling less Peanutbutter than Chocolate Chips to us unaware citizens. Truly, this is a food crime larger than none other. I can just see all of the poor childrens' faces... thier parents bought them a box of granola bars and it turns out there are only 24 peanut butter and 36 chocolate. Why?! Why Quaker Oats???

This is why I am starting some awreness: Parade for Peanutbutter. We need to show the government what is going on, and we must stop this nonsense that the Granola bar industry has been pulling off for quite some time now.

May I leave you with PFP's new slogan:
WE WON'T SLEEP, DAYS OR NIGHTS
TILL PEANUT BUTTER GETS ITS RIGHTS

Stop the Chocolate Chip oppression.
-A somber Kyle