Christmas
It's christmas. I love christmas. Why do I love it, you ask? Why else? PRESENTS! I'm not going to hide my childish feelings about today. PRESENTS RULE
I know I know. I go around blabbering about how we all need to give everything up and sell our shoes to save the whales and feed all the children in Siberia. Well so I'm a fat hypocrite. Sue me.
And now we shall proceed with the normal blog: me wining about America to the audiance of a couple of dorks who stumbled on my blog. Well sit back and relax whoever you may be.
CHRISTMAS............ it's meaning is nothing anymore. What could it possibly be? We all know its a day were we pass out presents and give egg nog to people (what in the world is nog anyway) and eat cookies and things like that. But why? Why on this particular day of the year?
"WHO GIVES A DANG?" says corporate buisness man Joe! He doesn't care! Joe owns a local circuit city and you're buying all of his merchandice. What could be better!
Joe is certainly happy with his yearly christmas income. But after a while he decides he wants MORE! Christmas= $$$ but how can we make it bigger? Advertising! Joe suddenly has a genius idea. We can go around pushing how great our stuff is in everyone's clueless little faces on regulated intervals until they become corparate slave zombies that come baring gifts of great bundles of cash. It's amazing!
Once Joe has his legion of zombies, other stores realize how amazing this is. Sooner or later, zombies are getting injected with shot after shot of marketing ploys and the Christmas seson suddenly becomes another buisness term.
Why do I even care about all this? Well besides the fact that my brain has become a limp noodle and is hanging out of my ears and will possibly disinigrate if I see that Verizon Wireless commercial on TV again, It's destroying tradition as effectively as a fat guy sitting on a small poodle. Traditions of family and friendship have been replaced by emptying your wallets so The Man can have some extra gravy on his ham.
"So kyle, you little smarty pants, were did christmas come from then?" Well actually it had to do with this guy named Jesus being born, but you know what, if I go on this blog will probably become banned from the internet because it seems Jesus is as bad as a curse word in public property but I highly recommend looking into his stuff he's a cool guy.
"Ok so you've cleared that up...sort of. But what are you going to do to stop commercializing, Kyle?" Actually I was about to go off to a protest but I had to go buy my dad an electric razor but I'll try to do something next year. Plus I had cookies to eat.
I hope this made you're christmas a little gollier, It sure did for me. Tis the season to be a self proclaimed genius!
KYLE
I know I know. I go around blabbering about how we all need to give everything up and sell our shoes to save the whales and feed all the children in Siberia. Well so I'm a fat hypocrite. Sue me.
And now we shall proceed with the normal blog: me wining about America to the audiance of a couple of dorks who stumbled on my blog. Well sit back and relax whoever you may be.
CHRISTMAS............ it's meaning is nothing anymore. What could it possibly be? We all know its a day were we pass out presents and give egg nog to people (what in the world is nog anyway) and eat cookies and things like that. But why? Why on this particular day of the year?
"WHO GIVES A DANG?" says corporate buisness man Joe! He doesn't care! Joe owns a local circuit city and you're buying all of his merchandice. What could be better!
Joe is certainly happy with his yearly christmas income. But after a while he decides he wants MORE! Christmas= $$$ but how can we make it bigger? Advertising! Joe suddenly has a genius idea. We can go around pushing how great our stuff is in everyone's clueless little faces on regulated intervals until they become corparate slave zombies that come baring gifts of great bundles of cash. It's amazing!
Once Joe has his legion of zombies, other stores realize how amazing this is. Sooner or later, zombies are getting injected with shot after shot of marketing ploys and the Christmas seson suddenly becomes another buisness term.
Why do I even care about all this? Well besides the fact that my brain has become a limp noodle and is hanging out of my ears and will possibly disinigrate if I see that Verizon Wireless commercial on TV again, It's destroying tradition as effectively as a fat guy sitting on a small poodle. Traditions of family and friendship have been replaced by emptying your wallets so The Man can have some extra gravy on his ham.
"So kyle, you little smarty pants, were did christmas come from then?" Well actually it had to do with this guy named Jesus being born, but you know what, if I go on this blog will probably become banned from the internet because it seems Jesus is as bad as a curse word in public property but I highly recommend looking into his stuff he's a cool guy.
"Ok so you've cleared that up...sort of. But what are you going to do to stop commercializing, Kyle?" Actually I was about to go off to a protest but I had to go buy my dad an electric razor but I'll try to do something next year. Plus I had cookies to eat.
I hope this made you're christmas a little gollier, It sure did for me. Tis the season to be a self proclaimed genius!
KYLE
posted by kyle at 5:14 PM
1 Comments:
hey kyle. nice... even though u lied about the verizon.. and it's really the osterman jewelers. lol. but i'm leaving a comment cuz... basically ur a failure at life.. just kidding. but it said it would make u feel special. lol... so even tho u have many things to complain about christmas... i hope u had a good one.... ttyl
~heather~
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