Sunday, April 17, 2005

Kyle: Xtreem Blog Edtion X

Have you noticed something about America?

We can never have something just "regular". It's gotta be huge.

Don't belive me? Look around you. Everyone is super sizing, taking huge vacations, making jumbo jets, sleeping in king size beds, our cupholders are big enough to double as hola-hoops, our cars drink more gas than my dad passes per minute, even our citizens are givin' the XL one or two more X's to keep it company. (Approximately 127 million adults in the U.S. are overweight, 60 million obese, and 9 million severely obese)

But it's not just the actual object, person, or 2623457234 liter cup that's huge.

It's also the name.

Just look around you. The names for just about everything are being upgraded. Our sports are now Extreem Sports, our shows have to be extreem, even our sofas have to have names to the extent of "Jada Ottoman 100% Leather Expresso Leg Finnish". How about just "Sofa"?

And its always gotta have x in the name. Because if it doesn't have x in the name, it's just not cool enough. Just look around you:

X-Men
X Factor Gatorade (tastes like....X....)
X-Files
Windows OS X
The new movie "Triple X" (and now it's got a sequel)
XChat (" Hey man x! What's x going on x?" "Oh, not x much, just x chatting.")
X-Entertainment
Xdrive
X Plane
Xtreem Flavor Blasted Goldfish (when the regular ones just won't do it for ya)
X Games
BMX (How does that stand for "bike moter cross?" not once do I see an "X" there)
DevX
Xtreem Gamer Radio (how do you spell Xtreem Gamer Radio? N-E-R-D)
X-bit
X-ecutioners (OMG they replaced EX with X!!! What a revolutionary idea! I must now enslave myself to them and buy all thier cds!)
Alt-X
X Cart (yes, even our online shopping carts must be cool)
Static-X
American History X (I still can't belive that one)
Band-X (for all your radical marketing needs! RoXoRzzz!!)
XFM radio
Even my book fair at school has been change to "the X-Change"
Project X (We're not crazy! We're the only one's not crazy! Whahahah!!!!!!!)

I think you get the point. I could stay up all night typing this stuff out. The point is, X is being overused. I propose a revolution! We replace all these corny X's with the revolutionary letter: ........ W!!!!

I can see it now: W-Men, The W Games.

Static-W: now that's hardcore.

Kyle, out.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Wow. I feel special.

Wow! My very own blog. I feel so exited I could throw my cat out my window!


Ok may be that was a bad idea.

Anyway, you're probably wondering what this blog is about. Well, It's pretty much just about my thoughts, my veiws on issues with politics, my school, how unfair life is, or just my pure randomness. It's personal, but at the same time, anyone can read it and post thier opinoins about anything I say. My posts arn't going to be consistently funny, serious, political, artistic, or whatever either. Hopefully my many moods will add to the diversity on my blog. I'm bored of the one topic-stuck blogs out there.

One closing thought before I leave: Cats always land on thier feet. But that doesn't mean that they won't get hurt.




Yea, definately a bad idea.

Peace,

KYLE